the only thing i’ve felt this week is lousy and exhausted.

lousy in a sense that i can’t do things right or i’m not good enough; like everyone’s progressing but me; like i’m doing something wrong; like i’m going more and more off track each day, so much so that i’m not even sure this is the right path for me anymore.

physically exhausted because i have been falling sick, mentally exhausted because i have had too many thoughts to contain; too many words i have yet to say but not sure how to phrase them; too many bottled feelings that i wish i could just pour out if someone were willing to listen, but mostly, constantly overthinking.

But apart from this, I guess I’m also feeling very much alone amidst these thoughts, I am aware of friends and am thankful that I have been able to at least confide in a few, but more than anything I wish someone could understand this or just ask something simple to show that they are aware of the fact that I may be feeling this way and that they care.

the only thing that’s motivating me to carry on? this quote:

“it’s a bad day, not a bad life.”

(if so, when will this day come to an end?)

“maybe if you pluck out the weeds, that patch of grass will become so much nicer”

lately I’ve been feeling like the weeds.

List of Must-Reads in 2013!

Hello everyone! I thought I’d post a quick blog entry here today before I continue with my work. :-)

So today’s post is my own list (that will hopefully serve as a reminder for me hehehehe) of books that I want to read this year!! ^0^

Ever since I was young, I have loved reading. I mean, this might sound very cliche but reading does really transport you to other places and lets you have a different perspective on things. I am especially fond of books that give me an insight on different things and leave me thinking about issues raised (e.g. propaganda hahaha) in the book afterwards. I’m not sure why but issues like propaganda and politics stimulate my thoughts. Of course, I like novels too n___n

So here is the list of books that I wish to read this year!

1. The Fault In Our Stars by John Green
2. Looking For Alaska by John Green
3. Paper Towns by John Green
4. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
5. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
6. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
7. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

(I’ve already read The Hunger Games hehehehe)

Yep these are the current books I intend to read, it’s quite a short list but I’m sure I will add on some more along the way. n____n

I’ve read the book The Fault In Our Stars and I’m currently reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower now, but I added in The Fault in Our Stars because I think it’s a wonderful, non-cliche book that everyone should read. I’m not very sure how else to describe it to you because I’m afraid I’ll accidentally spoil the story, but if you do get a chance to get a hold of the book you should definitely consider giving it a read!! (yes it is one of those books that tug on your emotions)

That’s all for now, maybe I’ll post another list of movies I would like to watch too (hopefully soon!) If you guys have any nice books to recommend, my ask box is always open! ^0^

Merry Christmas to all of you! ♥

Thank you to all of you for following this blog, and I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas and a great 2013 ahead! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ 

thank you so much, I really appreciate it :”) ♥

241212 {some updates}

Hello everyone!! c: 

Firstly, let me start by wishing each and every one of you a very happy christmas eve (and if I don’t come online here tomorrow, merry christmas in advance too!) haha c: Thank you so much for your messages and follows, they really make my day. :-) 

Secondly, I know I’ve been on hiatus these few days weeks, I’m really sorry; I was on a holiday in taiwan! c: Hehehehe it was really fun and I’d really like to go there again, everything there is super trendy and they have tons of shopping and cute stuff! >w< maybe I’ll blog about it haha x) In the meanwhile I’ve posted up some photos on my instagram (for those of you who don’t have instagram you can always look at the photos on the instagram widget on my sidebar) :-) I’ll probably upload a few photos here too, if time permits. :-)

Thirdly, I’d just like to say a huge thank you to all of you who are following me (despite me posting so seldom and so few quality posts i.e. photos etc), it really keeps me motivated to keep this blog alive, even though it might seem otherwise. I’m constantly thinking of what I should blog about next. c: Also, I might be less active next year due to studies, I hope you all understand! >//<;; But I’ll promise to post at least once a month/two months here. c:

Hoping everything goes well for you guys in 2013, and here’s to having a very merry christmas in 2012! ^~^

Recent adventures in photoshop

Hello everyone! Ah, as the title implies, I’ll be talking about photoshop today. :-) I’ve always been jealous of those talented people on tumblr who can edit/gif really well and I’ve been wondering how to edit/gif for the longest time. 

So, finally, after 10394734659834 tries, I’ve managed to learn how to gif as well as make a psd! (or rather, edit). For those of you who aren’t too familiar with photoshop, a psd is a photoshop file that already contains effects to edit photos with, so even if you’re not sure how to edit photos, if you have a psd, you can still apply the psd to your photo and ta-dah! you have your edited photo. :-) Of course, there are so many psds (no psds can ever be the same because of the wonders of photoshop! haha) you’ll have to find one that fits your photo. 

I’ve always wanted to find out how to actually made a psd, but then realised that there is no actual structure or actual instructions as to what to do to make a psd, but after looking at many tutorials and photoshop tumblrs as well as playing around with photoshop (I use CS5), I’ve finally found out the different controls (or rather, editing functions) of photoshop and this has led me to try out the controls on many photos and thus leading to psds! 

(Was that paragraph confusing? >//<;;)

Also, I’ve learnt how to make gifs! 8D Ah, it’s much simpler than I thought actually. :-) I learnt from many blog posts by other people here on tumblr, and after many failed attempts, I’ve finally succeeded! ~ 

Hehehehe so that’s what I’ve been up to these few days/weeks/months?  

Also, if by any chance, any of you would like to know how to make gifs/icons/edits etc feel free to message me! I’ll post a tutorial asap (I hope my explanations are clear enough though). :-) I don’t guarantee I can answer all photoshop questions though haha I’ll try. :-) Also I’ve been considering posting some of my psds haha but I’m not too sure about that yet.

Not sure when I’ll post again but I hope I have more inspiration to post soon! :-) 

x

Hello again!

My exams are over, so I’ll be posting up more blog posts soon! :-) currently thinking of a topic to write on. ^-^

{ hiatus }

Hai guys, this post is just to let you know that I’ll be (and currently am) on hiatus for a while, until after my exams. ^0^

050912

 feeling: sick, again. :c
 eating: does water count?
 weather: cooling, it rained last night! ^0^
 listening to: Severely - Ft Island
 thinking of: Why do I always fall sick at the wrong times?

Hello again! 

Firstly, I’d like to apologise for not being very active here (other than the sudden DIY button post that totally popped out of nowhere) D8 I promise to post more when I get inspiration to post on, heh. My life is pretty boring :c What would you guys like me to post about? I don’t mind giving my opinion on topics too ◕ ‿ ◕

Secondly, if you’re following me, thank you so much! Recently I’ve had some messages on exchanging banners, thank you thank you thank you! Have some rainbow cupcakes. /passes imaginary cupcakes through the computer screen/ If you would like to exchange banners too, just message me, I’ll be more than happy to exchange banners with you guys! ^0^ Also, if you would like me to check your blog etc do let me know too, I’d gladly do so. :-) Oh but if I follow you, it will be with my main blog (vanillacream-frappuccino) because this is a sub-blog. (｡´ ‿｀♡)

Thirdly, hello to everyone reading this post! Heh as I mentioned earlier, I haven’t been very active, and that’s because my exams are just around the corner, and I’ve been squeezing in revision time every day. :c Also, it’s the holidays now so we have even more time to revise. (I can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing haha) 8D

I also update my other blogs, if you’re interested, here are the links (in case it gets too boring to see the same old posts on this blog hahahaha):

main blog | kpop blog | pll blog

I’ve just found a new interest in editing (made easy by psds!), hopefully I can post some edits on my kpop blog after the exams soon c:

That’s all for this post, I’ll think of things to talk about and post more soon! 

x